Pregnancy: What To Expect...

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Need a natural dose of birth control? Proof your pregnant? Or just a good laugh of what it's like to be a "radiant, glowing mom-to-be"... Here are my top 5 pregnancy symptoms I am currently experiencing at 26 weeks! 

1. How does insomnia sound?
You may think I'm talking post-delivery when your up all flippin' hours of the night, but no, hate to break it to ya... insomnia begins during pregnancy! It's a bit of an oxymoron, a rational thought would be, "hey I'm about to be sleep deprived for about 1-2 years so let's go into storage mood", however, your body thinks more along these lines, "sleep-deprivation...let's prepare early so we can be in routine for when that baby comes along!" (and yes, right now it is 4am!)

2. How bout that awkward moment when you can't do your pants up?
When elastic pants, belly bands, and the hair-tie expander trick become your best friend (given maternity fashion has come a long way but let's be honest ...growing out of your cute skinny jeans takes some time to process and accept).

3. One word: Sneepee!
This can be added to your vocabulary early on in pregnancy and potentially can be a lifelong disability. Definition: In the act of sneezing one briefly loses control of bladder function and has a little accident in their big-girl underpants!

4. Stretch marks
Do those oils, and creams actually work!? I know with my first I put that stuff on religiously and lo-and-beyold one week before she popped out these blueish-purple marks appeared out of nowhere! I mean, hello, your tummy (and boobs) are quadrupling (at least) in size what do you expect...? (I was I bit naive the first time around obviously) *on a side note lots of water helps your skins elasticity and is essential for all things pregnancy related!

5. Quick learn this phrase: "Could you pick that up for me please?"
Say goodbye to the "bend...and snap!" (Legally Blonde reference) AKA gracefully and/or attractively being able to bend over and pick something up. Get used to sumo squats and replicating your best Serena Williams grunt for the getting back up!

There you have it, the beauty of pregnancy, just remember all these woes are so worth it the moment you get to hold this tiny little miracle in your arms... 94 days to go (give or take)!!!


  1. Hahaha, you're right, this is fantastic birth control for me! Way to put a funny spin on things, you are hilarious! I for one am going to be extremely sad when the day comes that I cannot zip up my skinny jeans :(

    xx -b.

    1. Thanks B! I can't wait till you have a babee you will be the cutest preggo lady waddling (thats another thing...forget being able to walk normally :P)

  2. I don't miss being pregnant, lol. After three kids, I'm more than done with that . . . but the rewards are well worth the annoyances. My biggest pet peeve was not being able to breathe lying down once I hit 7-8 months!

    1. I haven't got there yet, but definitely getting uncomfortable sleeping!


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